Francesco Gabbani is my number one anyway!

eurovision-francesco-gabbani-mostra-il-premio-della-stampa_1326803

This is a google search.

I’m afraid I didn’t manage to put the videos in the post, please click on the hyperlinks to listen to his songs! 

I’m Italian but I’ve been living in Ireland for the past 10 years.

I’m from Carrara, to be exact, the same home town Francesco Gabbani comes from.

I feel disappointed and angry at the moment, because I really wanted him to win the Eurovision. In my opinion, he deserved it.

Francesco worked hard to be where he is now and improved for sure on the way.

He gives me the idea of a humble person always looking for getting better and better in what he does.

He learned from the basics, learned how to write music, how to play instruments and then wrote the lyrics. He’s spreading in them fantastic play of wording, showing the massive culture he has. To be completely honest with you, I also believe that big part is also due to his talent!

Yesterday, still brooding about the competition’s outcome, I came across a video he shared on his page in which he asked his fans to stay positive as he’s OK and enjoyed the fun of the whole Eurovision event.

Although I still feel annoyed by the whole situation, I’ll try to be positive and explain why I like his music and him as artist.

Mine can be just a voice, I’m not an expert whatsoever in this field, but I believe that voices together make a choir!

And here we go:

I usually don’t listen to Italian music, I simply don’t like it much…well, reading this blog you know I’m a kind of weird Italian anyway, so nothing we can do about it.

However, I cannot listen to anything else lately but his songs.

Why?

Well, I narrowed down to three my main reasons:

His songs are made with nice tunes and stick in my head easily.

His lyrics are deep and hook my feelings.

Aaaand, probably the most important, his songs help me a lot and give me strength to keep going on in my personal dream.

You all know, my dear readers, I’d love to become a writer. I digged out my dream from a dusty drawer 10ish years ago, when I met my best friend, musician as well.

It’s not easy, and the most of the times I feel down, not only  because I have next to zero spare time, but also because my self-confidence is difficult to come by.

But Francesco’s songs speak to me. In particular these two:

“Foglie al gelo”

“Un sole”

Listening Francesco’s songs I come to the conclusion that, if your lyrics have a deep meaning, it’s easier to sing them with passion and hence hooking your listeners’ feelings is a piece of cake!

Another feedback I received from everybody, because of my situation, is that I’m too hard on myself.

I almost cried when I listened to “Per una volta”. It seemed be written for me.

He gives me hope, the hope I’ll be able to make it one day, with a lot of work and attempts and, for sure, a lot of falls and rejections.

I think that another song that helps me in every aspect of my life, be it writing, working or simply living and going ahead, is the newest “Magellano”

The fact he’s from my hometown, maybe helps and makes me see him closer to the path I’m trying to take in the artistic field. I might make it too, if I work my ass off! That’s what I think!

However, the fact he’s from my hometown also generates a regret.

Swallowed by all the bullying I went through when I was in high school, I didn’t realize he was in the same building, only three classes behind. I wonder what would have happened if I had the chances to talk with him. Maybe I would have been inspired, like it happened when I met my best friend, and I’d have started writing earlier.

Anyway is too late, I just have to concentrate on the future!

What I would like to tell him would be:

“Thank you, Francesco, thank you so much for playing your musing and writing your songs. They give me hope and they tell me that I might make it one day. They help to keep dreaming and facing the daily crappy reality. I owe you one!”

And this is my opinion, although I might haven’t managed to give him some justice!

Listen to his songs and let me know what you think!

“…sudore, fiato, cuore…voga, voga…”

-magellano-

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Angry comments on Social Networks  

Today, let’s remember evil people from BD, the baddies’ country in my fantasy world!

       

Either we like it or not we’re obsessed with social media. That’s a fact! Well, at least for the most of us!

I’m not even sure to know all social network, so I can say I still have some autonomy.

Personally, I’m often on Facebook, I’ve always had Twitter but I use it only from time to time. Lately I signed up on Instagram as I think I like the concept.

As far as I know the main reasons why they’re used are: to easily keep in touch with people, to get some gossip, to share ideas and information on the preferred topics and to get the latest news in one click.

Pros and cons are in every single thing but with the social media everything it’s kind of amplified.

If you do something silly, everybody will know; if someone needs help, in that way the problem will be addressed faster.

However, just because of that, mean comments or action will spread as fast as the good deeds. No, maybe faster than the rest.

It’s incredible to see such a behavior. It’s like people love to see other people suffering, love to insult them. I know for sure that there are a few of them loving to trigger arguments.

Maybe it’s not even loving to do something, maybe they’re just annoyed with life, maybe they’re going through a crappy period, maybe they’re sad and desperate and to them it’s unbearable to see another person happy or receiving love and compliments. Even worse, sometimes they love to see someone going through a tougher period in order to feel better.

Do you know what? You suck and you’re horrible people!

I understand, we’re all human and, as such, we make mistakes, but this is what they are, mistakes, that’s it!

Have you done a silly thing? Fine, understand it, apologize and don’t do it again.

If you do it twice, fine, three times, less fine but still OK. After that, it becomes a habit, a bad habit loads of people seem to enjoy.

This consideration was triggered by the comments I’ve seen on Facebook on some profiles.

Of course, it’s some kind of behavior that would happen in real life too.

However, people should understand that even if someone decided to make his or her life public, this doesn’t give them the right to destroy them with their opinion. Public profile isn’t an invite to be rude or impolite.

Immediately connected to what I’ve just stated, I have to add I respect a lot public people like Supernatural cast members, or even Stephen Amell –  these are the one I follow – who decided to go public but they managed to create such nice and healthy environment behind them, that I want just to prize them.

The detail that maybe annoys me the most is that Italians seem to be the most enraged comment writers. Of course, this data is related to my own field of experience.

Anyhow it’s a pity.

What triggered this train of thoughts is linked to some comment I’ve seen on MasterChef and X factor’ s Facebook pages, but it could be extended to everything.

It’s OK to have your personal opinion, your beliefs, your fear, your bias, even your prejudice, I mean it.

However, for no reason whatsoever you’re entitle to force your opinion on other people, criticize who’s in front of you, offend someone you might not even know. Basically, for no reason at all it’s OK behave like a real asshole!

And this is the end of my rant!

Ok, it wanted to be less of a rant, I really wanted to express my opinion, but I feel very passionate about it.

Well, my dear readers, leave it or take it!

Have a well-deserved Sunday!

Most of all, please let me know what you think in the comment below!

Franny KO! A to Z wins…

Sorry in advance, my dear readers, I’ll warn you first: rant ahead! In case you won’t keep reading, I’ll understand!

It’s still April but as you might have noticed the challenge has stopped for me with the letter R.

I’d fallen behind a couple of times and then I’d accumulated so many posts to catch up with, that I had to give up.

I hate saying that, because I tried to fight it, but I had to surrender to my routine.

Useless to say that I feel extremely stupid.

My partner tried to make me feel better saying “You don’t have to feel stupid because you didn’t manage to finish, you have to feel stupid because you started the challenge, knowing that it would be impossible to make it”

I’m sure that for someone who doesn’t know my situation this might sound mean, but it’s not. Actually he’s almost right, but no harm trying, right?

At the beginning of the challenge, when I complained about my possibility of finding time for my stuff, I was told that if I couldn’t find 10 minutes a day to write it was because I didn’t want to find them.

This comment hurt me because it’s not true and the whole situation is making me feel frustrated.

Despite what my partner said I really wanted to manage.

But because I’m humble enough to think that I might be wrong, then I decided to check whether I was wasting time indeed or not. So I jotted down on my faithful notebook what I did hour by hour for a few days.

I hoped that doing so I would notice a free spot I could use for my stuff or even an error I might be doing.

Actually no, doing so I just got more and more depressed because even in my days off, my time was so packed with stuff to do, that not only I didn’t have time for me and my things, but I couldn’t even check all the points out of my ‘to do’s’ list.

I might just be a disaster but truth is that when I try to push myself a little bit further, like for this challenge, or try to do more than I’m doing already, then I start to feel sick, and end up with a kind of flu.

Just a couple of days ago someone told me: “Your best is enough”. I don’t think it’s true, because it doesn’t go even a tenth close to what I want to do, but it made me feel a bit calmer, like I had some justification I can look at when I feel very depressed.

For example, I don’t feel good today, so I’m spending my day off in bed, despite the fact I have so many things that I should do, that even writing this blog post will put me behind with my ‘to do’s’ list.

OK, I know loads of you will tell me: “Franny, give up, this just mean writing is not your thing. Surrender to the fact that your life from now on will be only work and home and that’s it. But sometimes you can go on holiday if you’re lucky!”

I know that all this makes sense in a way, as I keep complaining and despite all the efforts it seems I don’t manage to conclude something useful.

But I already feel stupid and useless as it is, and I know for sure that I’ll feel defeated and even worse if I stop fighting.

I don’t think I’m a genius but I think that some of my ideas might be worth a shot. The awareness of not being able to get to the ‘give it a shot’ stage is the most frustrating one.

Well, this is it, no point in keep ranting, you got the idea!

Thanks for reading and sorry for the rant to all those of you who managed to finish this post.

Said that, I will finish the A to Z challenge, in my own time of course but I will, in order to give to my self-esteem a bit of closure.

For all those who visited my page, thanks a lot, for reading, liking and commenting.
I’ve saved on a file your blog addresses and little by little and slowly, oh so slowly, I’ll show up to visit back.

So for the moment I’ll leave you here.

A part from “If you really want to do something, you’ll find the time” (because I want to do it so bad but I don’t have a second, that I’m becoming very frustrated), I’ll appreciate any other advice. Write to me in the comments below.

Stay tuned for the rest of the letters!

Dunno who did it, I google searched, but it simplify what I’m trying to say!!!!

R as Research

Google research!

As I said yesterday, I’m trying to catch up with the challenge because I didn’t manage to follow it properly.

I have no clue if I’ll manage, but I’m counting on tomorrow’s break.

So, let’s go on!

This is another nice topic and, of course, one of my obsessions but, shush, don’t tell anybody or I’ll end up in a straight jacket in a jiffy!

I believe that for the research bit there was a part of my character that contributed drastically to the escalation from a mere time filler to a real “oh my gosh, I have to research otherwise will be the end of the world” status. The part of me that kindly contributed to this madness was my curiosity; the very same curiosity that brought me as a kid to stare at the plumber while working and to the point I could pass him the tools; or the very same that brought me to ask so many question to the dentist that not only I was involved in the vision and discussion to the x-rays but also had a fair idea of what was supposed to be done for the next visit or operation!

When I went to school my curiosity was actually focusing on the wrong things so I wasn’t that good. If only I put it into the right practice! But when I went to university it was a different story altogether!

Of course, you know already what was the real beginning of the mania: the essay on Dracula and vampires.

When I reached the moment I need to prepare my thesis for the graduation I kind of went wild. I was just sorry that the level of my Japanese wasn’t good enough to let me add up material.

Even my professor during the presentation of my work said that the real problem was to stop me writing!

I want to believe it was a sign!

The point is I didn’t use the whole amount of material I read and gathered but it was such a pleasure to read, research and find elements; once done that, it was marvelous putting all the pieces together and create a fantastic puzzle out of it!

This is what I hope it will happen with this book! And actually the others that I have planned already.

High fantasy is easier on this point of view, I think, as it requires a lot of creation and consistency but less research and study than an urban fantasy set in a real place and using elements of history, mythology and folklore.

There is a looooot to do and less time to do it…ok, I’m quoting, kind of.

To me, the problem with the research is managing to stop, because it becomes addictive. Or maybe it’s a way to delay what I’m doing…who knows.

The latter is a problem connected with my low self confidence. There is a part of me that keep telling I’ll never publish and I’ll never make it.

So this is maybe why I’m all so concentrating on the side bits of the writing.

But I’ll keep going, no worries!

So how about you?

Do you research a lot? You don’t research at all?

How do you organize?

Let me know in the comments below.

Q as Quantity

Google search.

Once again I’m in late in publishing the posts for this challenge. I believe I will be able to beat a record this time, but for no reason I’ll stop participating. So today if my calculations are correct I’ll have to post three letters in order to catch up. But more likely I’ll publish one or two!

I have so many things to do and so many things I’m worried about that I had hardly the mindset to update the blog.

So let’s go back to the Q!

Quantity is a nice topic and most of all, one of the many obsessions I have.

If there is something I got to understand from this year challenge is that I have so many obsessions that I start to feel ashamed!

Said that and taken into account the fact that I’ll have to accept myself as I am before I’ll go mad, let’s go back to the post!

Does the quantity count? Is it better quantity or quality?

In particular after changing job, I realized that this is a real tough question to reply to and that also doesn’t apply only to writing, although, of course, writing is my main issue here!

Once again it seems that every series or every project implies a different number.

I started with a stand alone book, then I was planning a five book series that I put in stand by; for the following project I jotted down fifteen plots, and for the current WIP I decided that it should balance with nine.

How many book will I write? I don’t know, the main reply could be: finish one by one and let’s count at the end. A plot is a plot after all anyway, so it seems that the real main issue here is understanding why I cannot finish a single project once I’ve started. But this is not the right place where to understand the reasoning behind the action!

This is probably linked to a fear I’ve always had.

Would I be able to write one book after the other?

It is clear that at least I’m well able to plan them, so what would stop me to write them all, a part from my stupidity?

And because I’m a bit mean…but just a bit and just with me, the question I ask at all the times is: all right, you’ve plotted them, but will you manage to have other ideas afterwards?

I have no clue, but the fact that I asked this question to myself every single time I finished plotting each and every of the projects I mentioned above, makes me think that I will be able all right.

However, in this field is almost impossible to be certain of things. I guess I’ll have just to wait then.

What would you say about this topic?

I’m very, very curious to know your opinion about it.

Is quality better over quantity? Are they both important?

Do you question yourself at all the times?

Let me know in the comments below!

O as Outline

Google search.

This is the real challenge this time. The outline of my WIP is confused as maybe I am. There is a lot of work I’ve done and much more to do!

I have to be honest, probably the bigger problem in finishing the outline of Hunter’s journal is that everything is interconnected.

On the top of this I’d add the fact that I want to be precise before the situation slips out of my hands.

I have to make a lot of research for this novel or series, if I’ll be that lucky to complete the task as I wanted. But because I have to finish the research or at lease bring my knowledge to a reasonable level, I won’t be able to complete the outline of the plot and hence the books.

At the very beginning I tried to write the story as it was in my head adapting to my needs the notions I gathered from Supernatural, simply because I wanted to create a frame on which attach and build the knowledge I would acquire later on.

A bit afterwards, studying the first elements of lore, I realized that the few words and scenes I put together weren’t accurate or were completely off track.

Hence the decision to stop writing and keep researching until I’ll have a decent bulk of information in my hands. Once done that, I’ll be able to add details where necessary.

If I’ll ever do what I’m planning, then I’ll have nine books for this story. I know I want them to be nine just because I decided to experiment a strategy. It is said that Suzanne Collins made three books in order to reflect the three act structure on which every single book was divided. I thought it was the coolest idea and I wish I could apply it to my nine bullet points structure.

Of course if I’ll understand that I’m just watering the soup, then I’ll change the route, but I thought it was nice to try.

Said that, here is what I have so far: I have a trigger event and then a plan for the society, what will be the reactions, the consequences and so on.

I have at lease three plot outlined but of course I miss many connections and details.

Also, I have the majority of the main characters outlined.

Because a big chunk of the story itself depends on the research there is a lot of uncertainties. And most of all, I think that it is the reason why I feel so confused this time.

On the other hand, this condition is very exciting, not only because I will study and learn new things, but also because it will be a real challenge.

But I guess that when I’ll manage to conclude the whole thing, it will be a real satisfaction and a job well done…or at lease I hope so.

What do you think?

Should someone be so confused in the process?

It never happened to me before, did it happen to you?

Let me know in the comments below!

K as Kin

I knew that sooner or later I’d be publishing in late. K was yesterday’s letter. Mum came here in visit from Italy, this week is taking its toll and so I haven’t managed. I hope I’ll be able to publish both letters K and L today and get back on track.

This blog too should have been a different topic altogether, the Kelpie, but I realized I’ve used it already for last year challenge so I decided to change it.

Somewhat is connected with the other one anyway so I’m quite happy with the swap.

As I mentioned before, one of the most important recurrent characters will be the grandpa Wallace, who’s a kelpie. So I might as well as talk about kin and family.

The reason why I’m so concentrated on the topic is connected to the explanation I gave before: I’d love to leave a message behind in my writing and family is one of my core values.

Here I ask you two of the most important questions I’ve always asked to myself: would you be able to love someone who you’ve just met (and he or she is told to be part of your family) just because you know is family? Like the Little Lord Fauntleroy for example. The little fellow is brought to England to his grandpa who’s hated by everyone and loves him dearly instead just because he’s the grandpa!

But to this is linked another question: despite knowing that someone isn’t your family, would it be possible to love him or her like family and not just as friends?

I’d be very surprised if you never asked yourself at least one of these questions even once in your life.

I did, actually more than once and I have to admit that for the first one I don’t really have any clear reply but just speculation. I just guess that maybe you could love a member of family, maybe after knowing him or her better, but I’m not sure. There are such assholes in mine that I feel like putting a huge question mark on the topic.

As for the second question I surely agree with what Supernatural characters have to to say: family doesn’t end with blood.

You know I’m pretty obsessed with this show, I won’t lie to you!

However, it’s not of the show itself I want to talk about, but more one of the messages behind the lines: family doesn’t end with blood and also that family, the one you pick, blood or not, is important!

It seems that the actors want to remain consistent on this too. It is well documented by the press in their public appearances that they’re all very close and behave like family.

Also they show a nice caring attitude to their fans as well, as they call them Supernatural family. They even created some support groups for them, which I volunteered for, at least for the few hours I can spare, because I think it’s a great idea.

I firmly believe that this second thing might happen, and sometimes is even more probable than the first.

This I experienced with my dearest friends, Mili, Silvi and Nani. They’re not friends anymore, they’re family!

What’s your thoughts about it?

Let me know in the comments below!