Francesco Gabbani is my number one anyway!

eurovision-francesco-gabbani-mostra-il-premio-della-stampa_1326803

This is a google search.

I’m afraid I didn’t manage to put the videos in the post, please click on the hyperlinks to listen to his songs! 

I’m Italian but I’ve been living in Ireland for the past 10 years.

I’m from Carrara, to be exact, the same home town Francesco Gabbani comes from.

I feel disappointed and angry at the moment, because I really wanted him to win the Eurovision. In my opinion, he deserved it.

Francesco worked hard to be where he is now and improved for sure on the way.

He gives me the idea of a humble person always looking for getting better and better in what he does.

He learned from the basics, learned how to write music, how to play instruments and then wrote the lyrics. He’s spreading in them fantastic play of wording, showing the massive culture he has. To be completely honest with you, I also believe that big part is also due to his talent!

Yesterday, still brooding about the competition’s outcome, I came across a video he shared on his page in which he asked his fans to stay positive as he’s OK and enjoyed the fun of the whole Eurovision event.

Although I still feel annoyed by the whole situation, I’ll try to be positive and explain why I like his music and him as artist.

Mine can be just a voice, I’m not an expert whatsoever in this field, but I believe that voices together make a choir!

And here we go:

I usually don’t listen to Italian music, I simply don’t like it much…well, reading this blog you know I’m a kind of weird Italian anyway, so nothing we can do about it.

However, I cannot listen to anything else lately but his songs.

Why?

Well, I narrowed down to three my main reasons:

His songs are made with nice tunes and stick in my head easily.

His lyrics are deep and hook my feelings.

Aaaand, probably the most important, his songs help me a lot and give me strength to keep going on in my personal dream.

You all know, my dear readers, I’d love to become a writer. I digged out my dream from a dusty drawer 10ish years ago, when I met my best friend, musician as well.

It’s not easy, and the most of the times I feel down, not only  because I have next to zero spare time, but also because my self-confidence is difficult to come by.

But Francesco’s songs speak to me. In particular these two:

“Foglie al gelo”

“Un sole”

Listening Francesco’s songs I come to the conclusion that, if your lyrics have a deep meaning, it’s easier to sing them with passion and hence hooking your listeners’ feelings is a piece of cake!

Another feedback I received from everybody, because of my situation, is that I’m too hard on myself.

I almost cried when I listened to “Per una volta”. It seemed be written for me.

He gives me hope, the hope I’ll be able to make it one day, with a lot of work and attempts and, for sure, a lot of falls and rejections.

I think that another song that helps me in every aspect of my life, be it writing, working or simply living and going ahead, is the newest “Magellano”

The fact he’s from my hometown, maybe helps and makes me see him closer to the path I’m trying to take in the artistic field. I might make it too, if I work my ass off! That’s what I think!

However, the fact he’s from my hometown also generates a regret.

Swallowed by all the bullying I went through when I was in high school, I didn’t realize he was in the same building, only three classes behind. I wonder what would have happened if I had the chances to talk with him. Maybe I would have been inspired, like it happened when I met my best friend, and I’d have started writing earlier.

Anyway is too late, I just have to concentrate on the future!

What I would like to tell him would be:

“Thank you, Francesco, thank you so much for playing your musing and writing your songs. They give me hope and they tell me that I might make it one day. They help to keep dreaming and facing the daily crappy reality. I owe you one!”

And this is my opinion, although I might haven’t managed to give him some justice!

Listen to his songs and let me know what you think!

“…sudore, fiato, cuore…voga, voga…”

-magellano-

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Angry comments on Social Networks  

Today, let’s remember evil people from BD, the baddies’ country in my fantasy world!

       

Either we like it or not we’re obsessed with social media. That’s a fact! Well, at least for the most of us!

I’m not even sure to know all social network, so I can say I still have some autonomy.

Personally, I’m often on Facebook, I’ve always had Twitter but I use it only from time to time. Lately I signed up on Instagram as I think I like the concept.

As far as I know the main reasons why they’re used are: to easily keep in touch with people, to get some gossip, to share ideas and information on the preferred topics and to get the latest news in one click.

Pros and cons are in every single thing but with the social media everything it’s kind of amplified.

If you do something silly, everybody will know; if someone needs help, in that way the problem will be addressed faster.

However, just because of that, mean comments or action will spread as fast as the good deeds. No, maybe faster than the rest.

It’s incredible to see such a behavior. It’s like people love to see other people suffering, love to insult them. I know for sure that there are a few of them loving to trigger arguments.

Maybe it’s not even loving to do something, maybe they’re just annoyed with life, maybe they’re going through a crappy period, maybe they’re sad and desperate and to them it’s unbearable to see another person happy or receiving love and compliments. Even worse, sometimes they love to see someone going through a tougher period in order to feel better.

Do you know what? You suck and you’re horrible people!

I understand, we’re all human and, as such, we make mistakes, but this is what they are, mistakes, that’s it!

Have you done a silly thing? Fine, understand it, apologize and don’t do it again.

If you do it twice, fine, three times, less fine but still OK. After that, it becomes a habit, a bad habit loads of people seem to enjoy.

This consideration was triggered by the comments I’ve seen on Facebook on some profiles.

Of course, it’s some kind of behavior that would happen in real life too.

However, people should understand that even if someone decided to make his or her life public, this doesn’t give them the right to destroy them with their opinion. Public profile isn’t an invite to be rude or impolite.

Immediately connected to what I’ve just stated, I have to add I respect a lot public people like Supernatural cast members, or even Stephen Amell –  these are the one I follow – who decided to go public but they managed to create such nice and healthy environment behind them, that I want just to prize them.

The detail that maybe annoys me the most is that Italians seem to be the most enraged comment writers. Of course, this data is related to my own field of experience.

Anyhow it’s a pity.

What triggered this train of thoughts is linked to some comment I’ve seen on MasterChef and X factor’ s Facebook pages, but it could be extended to everything.

It’s OK to have your personal opinion, your beliefs, your fear, your bias, even your prejudice, I mean it.

However, for no reason whatsoever you’re entitle to force your opinion on other people, criticize who’s in front of you, offend someone you might not even know. Basically, for no reason at all it’s OK behave like a real asshole!

And this is the end of my rant!

Ok, it wanted to be less of a rant, I really wanted to express my opinion, but I feel very passionate about it.

Well, my dear readers, leave it or take it!

Have a well-deserved Sunday!

Most of all, please let me know what you think in the comment below!

Italian Embassy VS Franny. This time is 0-1!

Google search but absolutely perfect!

One of the most annoying things if you live abroad, is the necessity to use your country services.

I’ve complained already on this pages about the scarce service we receive, but, please, bear with me, I had to do it again.

However, this time I can say the frustration has a little satisfaction added to the mix.

The reason why I needed the Embassy this time was linked to a form I needed to fill for Maya.

I called them at the end of June asking for information. The reply I got was “Go to the website and download the form then sent it to us by post”

“I don’t trust post” I said “Can I do with emails?”

“Oh yes, of course, you can send it over to our PEC address”.

And this is exactly what I did.

I decided to send the documentation to both their addresses since I didn’t trust them either, the normal address sent the email back and the PEC went through.

Also, because I still didn’t trust them, I decided to call the office a few days later to check whether the email was arrived or not.

The very same voice that was so nice two weeks before in giving me all the information, this time was kind of hysterical.

He almost shouted me saying that I shouldn’t have sent it to that address and that I cannot expect them to fill the form so quickly.

That was weird, last year I went to the office, during normal office hours and they did it in a few minutes.

At least he confirmed he received it.

Eventually, since I had to leave a few days later and I really needed the form, I went to the office in my day off and waited in the queue.

As you might have guessed I prepared a copy of the documentation I needed because I didn’t trust them, although they said they received.

When you go to that office you know for sure three things: the time you arrive, that you’ll never know when you’ll get out and that you’ll be pissed by the end of the process. The most of the times you’ll have to argue too!

Public offices in Italy don’t work properly and this one is no exception. We’re not in Italy but once in there you’re trapped in this parallel reality you need in order to accomplish your mission!!!

I reached the office then and I met at the gate one of my team mates, Cri, who was a little bit more positive about the place…but just for the first half an hour!

Everybody is tricked at least once!

Of course you don’t take a number when you arrive and you look around in order to memorize whomever might be before you. But here is the trick: one of the windows is dedicated to passports appointments so you lose a bit the count. Reason is that even those who has the appointment have to wait in the same queue.

Eventually one genius came in asking “Who’s the last one?” like the old ladies do at the GP’s in Italy…simple but effective, why didn’t I think of this before?!

Anyway, when my turn arrived I went to the window with the full documentation and the lady said “Oh thanks, we’ll fix an appointment to have it collected!”

No, hold the horses….what?

You see? The satisfaction I was mentioning before was referred to my reaction. The old Franny would have complained a bit and then go away with her chin down hoping against hope to make it on time!

This time no, I pointed my feet on the spot and explained my reason. I told them that last year I had the very same form done on the spot. And, for the records, I sent an email and the called to check the email was arrived. Only after over a week of silence I decided to show up!

They said the procedure had changed and the email couldn’t be found. When I showed the email on the phone they complained the address I sent it to was wrong, even with a tone of mockery like I was a poor idiot who sent to the wrong address. They actually suggested that address to me when I called the very first time!!! Besides, nobody bothered to tell me the procedure was chanced!

I apologize, my dear readers, I don’t read minds yet!

I started to rise the voice until an old lady was called, she explained that the procedure was changed and that I should have followed the passports one.

I said that I would have done it, if I knew it! If they didn’t write it on the website and nobody told me during the informative calls I made, how I was supposed to know it?

The old lady shrinking in her shoulders told me “We write loads of things but people don’t read!”

“You don’t say…I do the same job” I said, although I specified that it’s not exactly rocket science to have the waiting period specified next to each form!

To make the story short, eventually I got my form, although I had to wait an incredibly long time in that hole of an office!

And with this, I think I can say I won!

Damn embassy!

What do you think? Do you live abroad?

If so, do you need your embassy often?

How is it?

Let me know in the comments below, I’m very curious!

You can make it, Franny!

Hi all, my dear readers,

I haven’t posted for a while now. Actually, almost a month, I really suck!

I had to take a break, I pushed myself too much during April, mostly psychologically-wise!  

I’m making every effort I can in order to push and squeeze myself into the routine again, but it seems that something is blocking me.

My partner keeps saying that working at the computer all day in my new job, maybe prevents me from sitting again at the computer to write.

He might be right again. But I have no other option.

Even if I wanted to stay away from the screen, that would mean I’d have to write everything on a notebook, but once again I’ll have to copy the handwritten part sooner or later, so back to the screen.

Actually I think that what happened was I pushed too much through April. On the top of the normal routine I haven’t got used yet, I wanted to try and publish every day a blog post. I thought I’d organized in a decent way, but I had to surrender to the fact I didn’t.

My brain then was overwhelmed by what I wanted to do and what I had to do and the frustration of not being able to do it.

After I decided to give up the challenge, I guess I was very sad and not willing to do anything for a while, no strength left really.

Than laziness and the refusal to do anything even a bit challenging or requiring the minimum of effort kicked in. On the top of that the feeling of being stupid and good for nothing creeped in and I haven’t recovered until now.

But that’s it, I said to myself.

I have to get up and keep going!

So, as I promised in my last post, I’m going to publish the last letters of the A to Z challenge, so I’ll give this event a closure in a way or the other.

Meanwhile, at last, I kept taking notes on my faithful notebook. Yes, I have a different one for notes for the blog, and there is plenty of material there.

Actually the routine is changed right now, but I’ll tell you more about it in one of the next posts.

So I apologize again and then I’ll see you soon with letter S.

Have a lovely weekend! 🙂

Google search together with Maya! We needed a cheer leader for me!

Franny KO! A to Z wins…

Sorry in advance, my dear readers, I’ll warn you first: rant ahead! In case you won’t keep reading, I’ll understand!

It’s still April but as you might have noticed the challenge has stopped for me with the letter R.

I’d fallen behind a couple of times and then I’d accumulated so many posts to catch up with, that I had to give up.

I hate saying that, because I tried to fight it, but I had to surrender to my routine.

Useless to say that I feel extremely stupid.

My partner tried to make me feel better saying “You don’t have to feel stupid because you didn’t manage to finish, you have to feel stupid because you started the challenge, knowing that it would be impossible to make it”

I’m sure that for someone who doesn’t know my situation this might sound mean, but it’s not. Actually he’s almost right, but no harm trying, right?

At the beginning of the challenge, when I complained about my possibility of finding time for my stuff, I was told that if I couldn’t find 10 minutes a day to write it was because I didn’t want to find them.

This comment hurt me because it’s not true and the whole situation is making me feel frustrated.

Despite what my partner said I really wanted to manage.

But because I’m humble enough to think that I might be wrong, then I decided to check whether I was wasting time indeed or not. So I jotted down on my faithful notebook what I did hour by hour for a few days.

I hoped that doing so I would notice a free spot I could use for my stuff or even an error I might be doing.

Actually no, doing so I just got more and more depressed because even in my days off, my time was so packed with stuff to do, that not only I didn’t have time for me and my things, but I couldn’t even check all the points out of my ‘to do’s’ list.

I might just be a disaster but truth is that when I try to push myself a little bit further, like for this challenge, or try to do more than I’m doing already, then I start to feel sick, and end up with a kind of flu.

Just a couple of days ago someone told me: “Your best is enough”. I don’t think it’s true, because it doesn’t go even a tenth close to what I want to do, but it made me feel a bit calmer, like I had some justification I can look at when I feel very depressed.

For example, I don’t feel good today, so I’m spending my day off in bed, despite the fact I have so many things that I should do, that even writing this blog post will put me behind with my ‘to do’s’ list.

OK, I know loads of you will tell me: “Franny, give up, this just mean writing is not your thing. Surrender to the fact that your life from now on will be only work and home and that’s it. But sometimes you can go on holiday if you’re lucky!”

I know that all this makes sense in a way, as I keep complaining and despite all the efforts it seems I don’t manage to conclude something useful.

But I already feel stupid and useless as it is, and I know for sure that I’ll feel defeated and even worse if I stop fighting.

I don’t think I’m a genius but I think that some of my ideas might be worth a shot. The awareness of not being able to get to the ‘give it a shot’ stage is the most frustrating one.

Well, this is it, no point in keep ranting, you got the idea!

Thanks for reading and sorry for the rant to all those of you who managed to finish this post.

Said that, I will finish the A to Z challenge, in my own time of course but I will, in order to give to my self-esteem a bit of closure.

For all those who visited my page, thanks a lot, for reading, liking and commenting.
I’ve saved on a file your blog addresses and little by little and slowly, oh so slowly, I’ll show up to visit back.

So for the moment I’ll leave you here.

A part from “If you really want to do something, you’ll find the time” (because I want to do it so bad but I don’t have a second, that I’m becoming very frustrated), I’ll appreciate any other advice. Write to me in the comments below.

Stay tuned for the rest of the letters!

Dunno who did it, I google searched, but it simplify what I’m trying to say!!!!

X as X= unknown number of years.

                                                                                                                                                                    Google search!

I’m warning you this post will be very, very, extremely short!

Unfortunately for you, my dear readers, but mostly unfortunately for me, I have no clue about the answers to the questions I’m going to ask in a while.

The X is an unknown number the most of the times and it fits extremely well in what I’m going to ask myself. I’ve actually asked myself a lot in the last few years. Some examples:

How long will it take for me to finish my world building? X years.

How long will it take for me to write the first draft of whatever WIP you want to consider? X years.

How long will it take for me to publish? This is the biggest X years ever.

I know that the future is full of uncertainties and the route I picked in this world doesn’t really help. I have great passion and I’m stubborn enough to keep going despite the hard work and the negative feedbacks, still from time to time I ask myself how long I’ll have to wait more!

But it’s not only that, many other questions can fit the template.

How long will it take for me to learn to be a better mum? X years.

How long will it take for me to lose weight? X years.

How long will it take for me to learn that not everybody is a real friend? X years.

Well the last three could be answered even in X lives or X centuries as I’m very stubborn on some subjects.

And these aren’t the only questions I ask myself without finding the answer. There are many more I question myself about on daily basis, but I’m not going to bother you more than I’ve done already, no worries!

Maybe there is no answer at all, maybe it’s just a mixture of luck, ability, consistency or something else altogether.

I know that we create our own destiny, and I’m aware that on some of these topics I could make the difference behaving in different way. However, sometimes it’s easier fall in the old damn habits!

What do you think? Am I the only one asking continuously these questions? How do you answer them?

J as Jl

Google search! He doesn’t like pics! Maya picked this!

I’ve skipped one day again.

I think that I have to accept the fact I will do that again, and keep going on. After all, with this post, I’m on track. Despite the nudging feeling in my brain telling me I’m not doing that well, at least I didn’t give up. Shouldn’t it say something?

Today I want to tell you a few words about my partner.

Jl are the first two letters of his name, we’re now using as his nickname, because his real name is pronounced in different ways by everybody as it doesn’t contain any vowels at all!!!

We’ve been together for ages, it will be 16 years at the end of May. We’ve been living together for 8 years and we have a toddler. I’ll introduce her here in the M day’s post!

Although sometimes I’d rather chuck him out of the window I really couldn’t do without him.

We’ve been through loads of problem in the past 16 years but we’re still together, so I guess that it must be destiny! Or I must be completely nuts…as a writer it might as well be…still I’m a romantic person, so I hope for the first option!

The day immediately after we started dating, to be precise 12 hours later, his parents demanded him to dump me and they threatened him to kick him out of their house. Jl’s reply was filling his bag and leaving. They ran after him, maybe they didn’t aspect such a reaction. The episode repeated twice and they stopped trying this route. The real reason behind this gesture will die with them as we still don’t know why they behaved as such. They didn’t even know me but they hated me. In the next few days I received calls in which they offended me so my parents went to the police to make them stop. And this was just the beginning.

After a month I went to study in Naples but the situation wasn’t easier because the pressure was just huge. I couldn’t phone him and in case he wouldn’t answer the phone or something else happened I was cut out of his life. My parents weren’t happy and I always felt in between the hammer and the anvil to make it clear.

After about 8 years we were still together, despite all the problems and fights in between us. After all we came from two very, very different kinds of families and we’re opposite characters as well!

After my graduation, we decided to move in Ireland. I studied languages in university and I needed to improve my language skills. He decided to follow me. My parents weren’t happy and his parents either.

Then after a few years, we had Maya and it was her working the magic, well at least half of the magic! My parents saw what he did for me during the labour and the stay in hospital, they saw the whole thing from a new point of view, mainly my point of view, and they told me that they made a mistake in judging him so harshly. They still think that I could have had more, but I guess that perfection doesn’t exist and I’m far away to be a perfect person anyway!

Since his parents are damn idiots, they kept going headlong for their route and they didn’t budge a bit from their point of view. They’re evil people. And I feel sorry for my partner the most of the times.

Despite his harsh character, having some bits and pieces he took after them, he is a good person. He does his best to help me and stay beside him. After all if they didn’t teach you all the good values, how could you aspect someone to learn them. He’s improved a lot. He’s a fantastic father, already much better than his own…not that you needed that much of an effort anyway, but still you can tell he’s happy with me and our daughter. And that’s what counts!