As you figured out already, reading my previous posts, I’m a person full of questions.
Actually writing this series of posts and thinking about that, let me understand I can be a very difficult individual to deal with.
I ask questions about everything, because I’m curious, in order to think and to get inspiration.
But the most frequent bunch is my self-doubts.
I haven’t been sure about anything since I can remember.
You might say that everybody experiment his or her daily amount of doubt…or maybe weekly more likely.
As a matter of fact, for how weird it may sound, I ask myself constantly “yay or nay?” in my head.
It’s something very annoying I’m desperately trying to change, but I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It surely is side effect of my lack of self-confidence. More than one person connected it with the bullying in high school.
I don’t know for sure what’s the reason for it and I hope to find a way to overcome this problem.
Average day example: excluding all the actions that fall into the routine, and with routine I mean that bunch of acts and decision that went through loads of “yay or nay?” sessions, I doubt about what to wear, what to cook for lunch, whether Maya will be happy if I do a certain thing, whether I should call a person, do some errands, or send an email.
While I was looking for a new job the simple task of hitting “send” button would cause tachycardia, I let you only imagine the shade of psychosomatic symptoms I could go through during interviews.
I know you think I’m exaggerating and I’m pretty sure also that some of you will think I’m weird, because they believe that if I wanted to, I could change things.
As I said I’m trying my best, but it’s difficult. When you believe that everything you do is wrong or below the average line and when you think that it’s always your fault if something happens, then it’s harder than it seems.
Anyone out there in my same boat?