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Snow White and the Huntsman

The last week-end was my week-end off work, but we were too tired to do something as usual so we decided to stay home and try to catch up a bit with our energy loss.

I know, I’m getting old!!!

So yesterday we decided to watch one of the new movies we left behind: Snow White and the Huntsman.

I was of course expecting something different from the Disney fairy-tale that got the monopoly of the sweeter version of this old story. Still it was an awful movie to me!

My partner liked it as he loves trash movies; he was only disturbed by the presence of Kristen Stewart.

I usually don’t like to give opinion or to do reviews, in particular of movies, mainly because I know I’m not a critique.

Sure, I have opinions, but unless something really impressed me in a good or bad way you won’t find a review here.

But here is one of the exceptions, mainly because it was fun to watch it.

Following you’ll find just the comment me and my partner did during the vision. After a while, yes, I wrote them down.

This isn’t a normal review, you’re warned!!!!

 

At the very beginning I wrote a status on facebook and twitter:

Watching Snow White and the Huntsman…..no really, WTF?!

Excuse my French!

Then there is the scene where she leaves the white horse into the mud

Atreyu and Artax…I’ve seen the same scene, but Atreyu wasn’t so bastard!  She left the horse there to die….

After a long span in the dead forest you couldn’t see any dwarf coming.

The dwarfs…at least do we have the dwarfs?

After another while, when we saw eyes into the brambles

I think we don’t have the dwarves… Oh here they are. No, it’s a trooool…

Partner: So is it Snow White and the seven trolls?

Then we saw the woman hidden in the forest.

P: Oh no honey it’s a she dwarf. So it’s the huntsman and the seven she dwarfs.

Finally we had the dwarfs!

And finally, finally the very violent dwarves.

They go into a fairy forest.

Fairies? Really? With what other fairy tale Snow White did make a frontal car accident?!

Of course, fairyland…Celtic music. Of course!

And those fairies coming out of the animals? A creepy cute version of Gollum?!

 

Then there is a fight in this calm fairy realm and one of the dwarfs is wounded to death.

Partner: What? They really managed to kill a dwarf? Really? have you seen that?

Then starts a trail of close up of Snow White.

No really she’s ugly…how she got the part?

 (to be honest folks, there are so many gorgeous women out there, she wasn’t that good for the part! Other than not being able to play, she doesn’t change expression from one movie to the other!)

Then we had the scene where she eats the apple!

Uhh uhh the apple…there is the apple too….

Then she’s kissed by William and nothing happens, so after that she’s kissed by the Huntsman and voilà! It’s a big kissing spell of the movie.

What?! The damn hunter? Really? Poor William…

The Queen is waiting for the attack in her castle!

What a nice crown collection!

Well I like this part: Snow White that goes to kick the queen’s butt!

The dwarfs are sent in advance to open the gate passing through the drains.

How’s possible he didn’t notice 6 dwsfs smelling poo?

When Snow White army charges my partner wakes up again:

P: To me the queen should just commit suicide.

F: Why?

P: To avoid giving them the satisfaction. 

F:?

P:It’s clear they want the story goes on in a certain way.

After a while

P: No way, it’s impossible Snow Whites wins…it’s just the three of them…

They break into the castle:

P: How’s possible she fights like that now…wasn’t she closed in a cell for years?

Then there is a scene at the end where the queen enters into a fire

F: Why did she enter into the fire?

P: To make it easier?

While the queen was almost dead on the floor:

F: Now Snow White goes away and you have the open ending for Snow Withe 2!

P: No, now the mirror corrupts her and she becomes the new witch…

One of the final scenes stresses the attention on the dwarfs. My partner counts them:

Oh they’re 7…they killed the 8th!

He replays the scene

….oh dear it’s true… I was right…those are genius. This last scene reassesses the entire movie!

Now, as you can see this was a bit unusual, sorry for the eventual spoilers!

Rereading I admit that you must have seen the movie to follow the comments, but you know what? It was too funny so I will leave it this way! 

Here you have the 8 dwarfs!

Special thanks to my partner for the help in commenting!

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