As I promised, I’m going to tell you in this post what my feedback was on the pages I posted yesterday.
Nobody expressed an opinion about that, although the likes encouraged me!
So I’d love you to give your sincere opinion about what you’ve read. And if you didn’t please, can you do me the favour of doing it? At least the first part? I’m very feedback needy at the moment!
Thanks so much for your time!
Returning to Siobhán’s feedback, she said, first of all, before even I sat on the chair in front of her “You should write in Italian!”
When I sat down she kept saying that no editor, and she said she knows as she’s pretty standard editor herself, would pick me because there would be too much work to do.
She said that some of the sentences seemed taken from Google translator. (I think in English, I swear, but maybe some sentences come out Italian structured unconsciously)
That if I blog in English was ok because blogging is informal speech so different from a book.
Then, like this wasn’t enough, she said that the beginning is intriguing but too long.
Plus that I do description like a guide book and throw them all together into the text.
Sabrina is too stereotyped and not believable and seems taken from the TV. Well actually Sabrina was born as fusion of the other two best friends of mine…and they behave this way for real!
At this stage my eyes were already watering, but I managed to keep talking and taking notes because I didn’t want to behave like a stupid ten years old!
When we were at the coffee break I still had the knot in my throat but I thought that if she told me this kind of things maybe she would be able to help me to sort them out. At the question to what I should do to improve, she said to read. She said she suspected I did it already, which is true, but also that she doesn’t know what else.
I was very sad; a part of me was struggling to keep going and part of me didn’t want to give up.
I don’t want you to take this in the wrong way, but still I didn’t like this feedback. You might say that nobody likes negative feedbacks or rejections, but I felt that this one wasn’t totally fair and put in doubt all the work I’ve been doing for the past six years (all in English by the way!)
She basically destroyed me without giving me a constructive tip or an encouragement or something like that.
I mean, I knew already she would have issue with my language, I’m not stupid!
Also Jane, another teacher, told me that I would have to work very hard on that, but she added that my characters and my suspense building and my dialogue were good.
I don’t want to say that if someone doesn’t find anything positive, she or he should say something nice just to open their mouths, but still the way she did, it seemed a bit offensive and a bit racist as well at some extent.
I mean, saying something like the language is the most important thing for me, and it’s something you pick since the beginning and it is something that cannot be acquired with the time, seemed a bit extreme.
According to this, Joseph Conrad wouldn’t be supposed to be among the classics of the English literature, but despite I hate his way of writing, he is.
Also, said without any highlights, it seemed to say “A part from the language you should stop altogether!”
Don’t ask me again why I don’t write in Italian. I don’t want to, because I want to be published.
I said already that I would love to be published in the old fashioned way.
I respect, deeply respect people who self-publish, but until I’ll have the guy in front of me I’ll never understand if I’m worth it or not.
In Italy is very easy to publish, more or less, you either pay or you know someone. I don’t know anybody, and even if I did I wouldn’t use them for the same reason I wrote you above, and I don’t want to pay because in this way I’ll never know if I’m worth it.
I suspect it’s connected again, yes once again, with my inexistent self-confidence and constant research of approval.
Now my question for you is: what do you think about my piece? Do you agree with Siobhán? Should I stop writing in English? Should I stop writing all together? Isn’t there any positive aspect?
I’m aware that Etruscan Pledge was my first urban fantasy and I was writing on a theme unknown for me before and most of all I was way too involved in the attempt to vent my feelings, but still I’d love to know your opinion!